Well you reviewed my story so I thought I'd check out yours. I'm glad I did. I only had time to read this one, but it's... so awesome. In one paragraph you created a well developed mood and sense of angst and anger all in one. It was really good.

Pinkloverocks

Creates a perfectly, anger and turmoil like scene.
I actually like this one quite a bit. Has a very raw emotion that is highlted through strong images and words.
-Red

Wow. That was incredible. It was so... angsty... and still so story-like. I can't describe it. I loved it. Nice work.
~BJ

Wow. Whatever you said about writing as a hobby, I think you should consider it seriously. That was incredible.