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| Max Radio 2007-12-14 ch 2,  | abuseChapter 2 doesn't fail to pique interest... Who is this Yevgeniy exactly? His plans? His past? And not to mention Kazimir...? Well worth reading into chapter 3. Especially because, again, I could find no typos. There were a few times where words were repeated (like 'bodies' and 'pet') but these are pretty minor grievances that don't occur until the near end of the chapter. The new character of Yevgeniy was introduced well, not too vague but very mysterious. Looking forward to the next chapter. |
| Max Radio 2007-12-11 ch 1, | abuseOh, wow. Very, very intense...and you were right, this is also very unique from other subjects in the YA genre! Which is refreshing to say the least. Typo free, as far as I can see...a catchy style with fluid writing, which is impressive for how emotionally charged this chapter is. Language is used inventively, you didn't repeat things (with the exception of Anya's blue/cerulean eyes). What's really important for me in a story, though, is the characters...Anya is a great lead. She's interesting to follow, and has depth, which is hard to find in characters of YA. You managed to have tragic things happen to her without the chapter becoming a bawl-fest, or Anya having a breakdown moment. So honestly, I couldn't find anything wrong with the chapter story, typo, and character wise. What I did have a problem with, though, was the A/N at the top; X-Men? What? Mutants? Why didn't you leave all that to surprise? And judging from the summary, it seems that this is a pretty long story to tell, which might scare some readers/reviewers off (or attract them). ANYWAY: This is a great first chapter. Not too long, no discernable typos, attractive characters, and writing that reads like an underwater explosion; quiet but dynamic. But like an underwater explosion, people may not feel it until a while after it explodes... 8.5/10 |
| TheUglyTruthaboutBeauty 2005-08-31 ch 14, anon. | abuseI love this story!! It is really original and well writen. |