WOW. I love the whole poem. It's like sad and beautiful and the ending is just incredible. WOW.

-She is just a prouduct of lost oxygen/through kissing with painted-golden lips/to make her smile real(ly fake.)- I like the use of parenthesis there.

-She was dazzling desire/black skies/jewles- Once again, it's spelled "jewels" not "jewles".

-I laughed when I looked up what/Asphyxia/Meant,- LOL. I actually looked it up after those lines. I had no idea what it meant before then, and when I learned the definition, the whole poem made a lot more sense.

This is another good poem. Not my favorite, but a strong, emotional piece. The imagery and figurative language is five star.

wow. this is absolutely amazing, very well written and an excellent read. i am definitely adding you to my favorites. well done.

beautifully written and hauntingly sad. its quite long but it just captures ur attention and keeps u reading. the ending is just so beautiful and sad. i didnt understand all of it but still, i get the atmosphere in this. the middle bit is the best where the short lines r introduced. great job:-)

This was amazingly beautiful. You wanted to hold your breathe when you read this to feel what the writer felt like... I enjoy pieces that have some sort of tangible quality.

This was amazing.

Favorite lines: "She was dazzling desire

black skies

jewles

blood

fire"

Gorgeous... the unending phrase... very beautiful piece. I enjoy it.

'tis beautiful and so very sad. it brought tears to my eyes- maybe 'cause i can feell the emotions behind it; maybe 'cause i don't truly understand it.

thank you for the review.

EB

touching and hauntingly sad, the whole thing is just so beautiful. makes me cry reading it. gorgeously done and touching tone.

~* noelle

beautifully written. it gave me a good picture in my mind