FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| no.peace.los.angeles 2006-07-06 ch 1,  | abuseShe is dropping,/like the rustling of silk/off an unknown shoulder,/a sound in the shape of someone's/tongue. - Totally love. Great images there. I'm not so sure about the stanza after the above stanza, though. I think that's probably the weakest stanza in the piece, just because of the "falling in love" part. I saw that and was kinda like, no, not another one of those. But. I also love the rhetorical question of "When you reminisce is it always about the past?" Great question. All in all, though, great images, wonderful use of language, and I'm *favoriting*. Keep writing! :) |
| Sorrowful Dreams 2006-04-12 ch 1, | abusevery good stuff. I like the way this one went. and then...the ending caught me off guard. ~Sorrow~ |
| mizu no kokoro 2005-09-20 ch 1, | abuseWa... i get this intense imagery that goes so well with the message you are trying to give~ great job~ keep writing! |
| Nobody-n-Particular 2005-09-03 ch 1, | abuseBrilliant, I love the thoughts, wonderings, overall depth to the entire piece. It appealed to me immensely. |
| Valkin 2005-09-03 ch 1, | abuseSpeed isn't easy, and I am pleased to see that someone from the din has learned to blow that difficulty out of the water. I am interested in your work now, because it reminds me of mine, and that you also have words in this piece that are a favorite of mine. I hope that would be able to read some of mine...for I will now be reading alot of yours. |
| Moonjava 2005-08-29 ch 1, | abuseNow this is great. Very dark and rigid. |
| Munchin 2005-08-29 ch 1, | abuseSounds nice.. I didn't finsih reading ti but what i did read I really like.. I know that is terrible.. I should read the whole thing.. |
| scudcrow 2005-08-29 ch 1, | abuseTrue and honest personification seems to be ebbing from your poem. Especially, the line"..memory is willfully selective..." had be in absolute concurrence. My observations:"Like a straightened spine""..cacophony of pearls around her neck"Are you using a Zen or phylosophical approach?...seems like it, as you have given silence a voice, rigidity; a whole new domain! Je l'aime ici, KP.S. And thanks for your review. |
| FunkyFlower17 2005-08-28 ch 1, | abuseintensely beautiful. i love the vocab in this. very advanced and adds to the style so when u read it, it comes out all posh. (j/k) anyway, i love the imagery this creates and its really well written. the ending bit is good tho altogether the poem is a little difficult to understand. otherwise, great job:-) |
| Luthiena o Lorien 2005-08-28 ch 1, | abuseDo not get mad, but please, try to write about Amazons, with a maximum of one line of information provided to you per Amazon. The, try to fill it with emotion. Then, sqaush it into 5-7-5 format. Email it to me when you are done. |
| Aquafied 2005-08-28 ch 1, | abusepoisonlike dregs of alcoholreflecting moisture,maybe sweat-the evidence of having triedvery hard.-love that detail, maybe sweat. silk, reminds me slightly of prostitution and an asian theme in france. from cigarette to cigarette to the spaces in between-ja'dore. |
| secret thoughts revealed 2005-08-28 ch 1, | abuseI dont know what to think of this piece either its good though even if I'm not quite sure of the meaning behind it |