I agree with your first reviewer: this was somewhat rushed. Also, it is doubtful that your characters would have been kept alive after the German soldiers realised they were Jews. A lot of the time, Jewish soldiers who were captured were taken aside from the other soldiers and shot instantly.

Pretty good man. Really made me think about the horrors that were the concentration camps. Great descriptions and nice vocabulary, really captures the effect you were trying to get. Also, reading a story from first person is definitely different from most works around, pretty cool.

The biggest problem I saw was that it seemed incredibly rushed. There seemed to be no pause. One minute they're in the air, then their in cattle cars, then they're in the camp. Try messing with sentence structure and punctuation to maybe slow down the pacing, forcing the reader to pause. Also adding a line of dashes after sections such as when he gets knocked out, would help slow the pacing and give a chance for the reader to have a reflective pause.

Good nonetheless though.