I really like this story. I read it all during my computer tech class, lol. Anyway, update soon.

so does johnny boy noe of this arranged marriage and if so he mjust be like triple times jealous times a billion! oh vey wut a dillema!

its coming along quite nicely. i think the word your looking for at the end of the chapter is sympathetic.michelle

oh sumones jealous! UPDATE SOON!

hey this story is rely interesting soo far. i take it we will find out vendras mission later on.

You have a lot of backwards quotation marks. Just so you know. I think the conversation between Daniel and the dancer was, I don't know, good but lacking. SPICE IT UP, WITCHY-TEEN! -Aysel

Um, one quick question: could you not space all the describtions out into separate lines? A flowing paragraph would do quite nicely, not the disjointed system you have going. The Court dancer is supposed to be fluid, not...err, what's the word? Chunky? That sounds crude. Anyway, I loved the dancing descriptions! In fact, my friend does belly dancing, I'm sure she could point out all the good parts in this piece more than I could! (laughs) -Aysel

So what can Vendra do as a court dancer? And how does that drag her into servant's jobs, pray tell? A dancer doesn't udually fold sheets. Or care about the heirs. But whatever, and the part about Beaufort and Sindari being, what did you say? His lorship and Misstress Quenya? What are THOSE? You might want to explain those titles. -Aysel

Erm, all right. How interesting. For starters, Witchy-Teen, I think you should actually describe the mother's physical characteristics...mayhaps that will help me understand her evilness and actions. And I like the intrigue in the first chapter. It leaves questions to be answered. -Aysel

I love the idea, it kind of is rushed in the beginning and somewhat confusing but still interesting!