|Reviews for Volksreich Imperial Survey|
| Arej 1/19/06 . chapter 8
Well done...I saw a few mistakes, but I don't remember them because I was engrossed in reading...and so anyway!
I don't know, but I think that maybe this chapter might fit better before the one on the military...serve to keep the readers wondering if there is going to be possible war/trouble and even avoid the question that arose in the chapter on the military - why do they need one/who are they defending against?
Anyway, well done. Quite masterful with the language here, I see, well done for someone of Bisandine's standing.
| Arej 1/19/06 . chapter 7
Okay, I'm just doing an as I go, not because I think I'll run into trouble...(I don't think I ever have) but because I want to finally relate the questions this prompts within. *sigh* I knew I'd break down eventually.
..."protect what was won so long ago" - What are they protecting it FROM? (Besides crazy fanatics) I haven't really heard mention of other countries/municipalities other than the Volksreich...hmm.
Parades. *snorts* I think EVERY military has some pompous parade.
"advantage it is breech" Um...the first error I think I've ever seen in this one... You might want to say "advantage is that it is breech"
Oh...nice ending, very well done...
Alright, on to the rest!
| Chiideki 1/19/06 . chapter 2
Yes, I understand now what you meant about the Germanic setting and stuff. As for your question on mine, I pretty much use whatever I can think of (...lol). If I had to name it, I'd say it varies based on the country. No elves, yes, but I do have a bunch of other races...not Tolkien rip-offs, thankfully. The Valkraynians (Faeries) have a steam-based economy and tech system (not REALLY steampunk, but close enough? Hmm...well, they have a HUGE energy crisis because of the treehugging Thrushei)The Thrushei are treehuggers10. They live pretty much on trees, around trees, with trees. Their tech system would best be described as a cross between biological engineering and magic on a fantasy scale. It's...complicated lol. I'll get to them someday. The Ishil live in a massive desert, so they rely a lot on underground works (thanks to the lake system beneath the sands) They are NOT dwarfs however...in fact, they'd probably be the polar opposite of dwarfs in appearance. They don't really adore technology (that's Valkraynia)Elrianna is mainly a magic-based tech system, although they DO have alchemy (chemistry) it's frowned down upon by most people. Wilhelm is an Alchemist in secret...but not for long. :)I am amazed by the amount of detail you put into the Imperial Survey! I didn't think anyone else enjoyed creating a world just for the fun of it; for me, at least, that's where all the pleasure is!Well, good luck on your stories (doesn't seem like you need it though, haha), and always have fun!
| Arej 1/18/06 . chapter 5
I must say, well done! (I'm saying this for the one on religion, as well, because FP won't let me review it where it stands.) I saw no troubles, and this is amazingly complete. The depth of it astounds me...wow.
One thing - you mentioned silt-lurks, but it isn't really clear what they look like. (And, to the best of my knowledge, it's similarly unclear in Fatherland.) Just a small note there.
And...I know this is dredging up way way way past reviews, but you mentioned a few months ago that you'd be interested in weaponry for Azure Sunset...e-mail me (it's on my porfile, I think) if you're still interested.
| Arkash 1/15/06 . chapter 8
Of course, what would be a story of a nation without opposition and strife.
A very comprehensive and detailed world you present. All these nations and empires, so different, give the story depth. And plot twists.
Good job-this must have been much work to compile. *_*
| Arkash 1/15/06 . chapter 7
OK, a variety of war machines and soldiers. Except their use of thaumaturgy, of course.
They somewhat resemble what we had not so long ago in the varous military branches.
And the power of the word, brainwashing and fanaticism are also parallel.
| Alnitak 1/15/06 . chapter 3
You mean the Greendeath, the Druids, and all the other religions?
Yeah, I read this chapter before.
None, not even the Avatars are quite like the "Avatars of the Earth".
You'll see in later chapters. *_*
| Arkash 1/15/06 . chapter 6
Again, another in depth chapter.
I liked the way thaumaturgy is used for smokeless powder.
Good job! *_*
| Arkash 1/15/06 . chapter 5
Interesting world you've built here with an entire history, economy.
One question: How could punch cards hold enough data to make the clockwork automatons work?
Good summary of the Guilds. *_*
| Arkash 11/19/05 . chapter 4
This is a very interesting, indepth piece. The Manifold is a little like my Morphic Resonance Field. And a little like the Distral in Displaced where souls go. Yet, different.
So the Choruses are machines in the Manifold?
| Arej 10/13/05 . chapter 4
As I go.
"Experiments and tradition hold another plane..." for clarification purposes, you might want to say "hold that another". It'll make more sense.
"It states saying the Almighty..." What? This doesn't make sense. I think I understand what you're trying to get at, but 'states' and 'saying' do not work together well.
"Clockwork thinking machines, they can..." This confused me. Did you mean to start the sentence that way on purpose, or was it an accident? It's not clear.
"problems but feeding them..." should 'but' be 'by'?
"Such would allow..." Such WHAT would allow? Not clear.
"hands of a decadent soul..." So, sould are decadent? What exactly do you mean by that?
Other than that, this was really good. Perhaps better than the others...a different viewpoint, a different speaker. It makes the ideas more real. Anyone can come up with a history, but not everyone can create two different characters with two different backgrounds and ideals who share tese ideas (though not the same, they are relativel similar, or so it seemed to me.)
Great job. It explained a lot of beings and ideas, though not in-depth, and thatmakes the platform for reading the actual story a little stabler.
I'm really enjoying this, by the way. Great job.
| Haku 10/8/05 . chapter 3
Nice piece. I've written a lecture on Thaumaturgy by Wian Pamsnos, if you're interested.
| Arkash 9/29/05 . chapter 3
Hm, a lesson in firearms. I needed that, thanks.
| Arej 9/11/05 . chapter 3
I hate guns.
Not because they're dangerous, or because I've had bad experience (I've never held one) but because they destroyed the honor of death.
Well, enough about that. This is really good, and I'm enjoying it (Even if it is a history thing). This is actually sort of fun.
| Arej 9/11/05 . chapter 2
Yes! I'm liking this place. I mean, it has it's problems, just like any other place, but things are handled relatively well. It almost like a short history of Earth in a nutshell, but altered and made better- without the corruption (so far). Great job!