|Reviews for A Blessing and Curse: Black and White|
| A Reviewer 11/23/12 . chapter 3
So, I've just come across your story and I totally understand where you are coming from! I see a lot of interracial couples. In fact, I love interracial couples! But what always confuses me or even bothers me is how it's always a black male/white woman. I've seen vice versa - a white man/black woman - but it's not nearly as common as black male/white woman couples. It's bothersome, really, because whenever a black woman mentions this, people think she is coming from a place of hatred or jealous. And hell, SOME of these statements do come from a place of hatred or jealously. But a lot of the time I can see why this phenomenon raises SO many eyebrows.
A lot of people need to understand that there is a lot of internalized racism in the black community. (And you know what? Not just in the black community, but in VARIOUS communities of color as well.) There are a lot of black men that refuse to date black women or just downright disrespect them because they believe they aren't as "good" as white women. That a white woman will do everything a black woman will not do, that a white woman will always have a BETTER attitude, or that they are more beautiful and endearing that a black woman. It's not much of a compliment for both, considering that not all white women are docile, generous, white woodland creatures, and that not all black women are loud, ignorant, unattractive women with attitudes.
Yet, people BUY into these stereotypes. White women are seen as the best, the most beautiful, the holy grail. Black women are depicted as the other. We aren't represented as individuals, just INDIVIDUAL STEREOTYPES. There aren't many of us on the front of magazines or many of us on television. It's not to say that the media is the prime reason why so many black men or men of other races associate black women with EW ICKINESS. The real problem is that we live in a society that completely devalued, disrespected, and abused black women for CENTURIES, and because the same racist ideologies and systems are in place, nothing has changed.
I think this is what people looking from the outside in need to understand. Not all black women hate you for dating black men. Some of them just wonder if you're just the object of his affection because he HATES women of his own race. Or some wonder if you're just the object of his affection because he wants "pretty, lightskinned babies with good hair".
And let's not even get started with how people react when they see black women with white men. Oh, boy...
| Claire-Inet 6/14/12 . chapter 7
I am so in love with your style of writing...it's a very different change! I have absolutely fallen in love with the characters and their completely different perspective of such a controversial topic. It speaks the thoughts that no one has the heart to say...
I really enjoyed reading them and I will be waiting for more... :D
| Emily 9/23/11 . chapter 7
I'm a white girl in a relationship with a black guy, and these fics really hit home for me, so I wanted to thank you for writing them. I struggle with all the looks people give us, and how weirdly his family treats me, and the shitty things black women around him speak to me about my whiteness. I fell in love with him a long time ago, and I don't see the color of his skin, nor do I give a sh*t about it, and it sucks that so many people try to become involved in our relationship like they have the right, like it's about THEM too, and not just me and him. Anyway, thanks for shedding some light. I'll always keep fighting for him, and you helped me see sadly that there will always be other people fighting me because of it.
| mizgardenia21 8/7/11 . chapter 4
Whoa, thanks for the warning last chapter-this is really really intense. It's very hard hitting and I love love love how you wrote this. I love them all so far, but this one just kind of hit me hard because I see all of these stereotypes everyday.
| Sylvara 5/23/10 . chapter 7
Personnally, I do'nt mean to shock anyone there, but I don't really care if the black color will survive in america or not, of course I wish balcker women to find hapyness, but the fact that the color is dead, I don't mind, cause what I think is really importent is that balck culture, ancestors, uses, afro hair, etc, etc, etc get respect, and it be white or brown skinned person doesn't matters to me as long as they remerber and honor who they were, as long as the black "image survive". I know this chapter don't contradict that, I just felt like giving my opinion.
| Sylvara 5/23/10 . chapter 5
I don't think paranoid to the least. Of course, media, books, mannequins and dolls have a heavy impact on everyone jugement and especially (and I think that's on purpose) on ex-colonnized ethnies. That's not being called paranoid, that's a fact. Who need to study socioligy to get that?
| Sylvara 5/23/10 . chapter 4
Wow ! That was... ah... that was something. The way you adress that man issue was strong and rang somehow true. The way he says things make me think that he's a bit sucidaire, like he doesn't care. He lost it. This story is strong, I will read from you.
(But if you would indulge me in something, just for the sake of tolerence, please, leave God alone, He has nothing to do in all of that, his image , used in churches probably, but not Himself. Will you care to make the distinction ?)
| Sylvara 5/23/10 . chapter 3
Oh, but it worked enought for me. I think I like these stories and the way you express yourself.
| LaTavia-Dana 2/26/07 . chapter 7
I'm not for interracial dating and I'm not aganist. I'm not for same race dating and I'm not aganist. I review it all as just dating. I personally don't care if this race wants to date that race, myself being what you could refer to as "biracial". (My mother is black and my father is white). Although I called myself Black, because thats just me. If you ask my sister what she was, she'll say shes biracial. Ask me and I'll say Black. Anyway, I really enjoyed your monologues. They were interesting and amazingly written. I disagree and might get a tad bit offended by some comments, but thats what make them so good. And shit, there is nothing wrong with weave (just ask my cousin, Shunterria, #4 Human Hair and getting your nails done (got a french manicure right now). Lol.. anyway, typing/talking too much.
| Shaneisha 2/26/07 . chapter 4
Well for his need to know bases, my hair isn't nappy when I get a relaxer. So there! lol.. this is really good, girl! I luv it, so deep!
| NO LONGER USING 7/20/06 . chapter 7
WOW. that suffices. this is one of the best writings I've ever seen written on this site, and I'm so glad I foudn it. very well done .
| nadie32 4/8/06 . chapter 7
I really enjoyed reading your monologues, especially from each person's perspective. I would like to see a monologue about a black woman dating or married to a white man that is having to deal with the "issues" we black women face dating outside our race. Am I settling because I have not been pursed by black men. Is the man I am dating seeing me as me or as the sterotype(the nympho jungle bunny) and why do I feel as if I am betraying my race when black men date outside of their race far more than we as black women ever have.
| Regina 4/8/06 . chapter 7
WoW!...I am so happy that a fellow chatroom mate suggested that we read your monologue during a discussion.
The storyline was so moving and thought provoking because it looked at all sides of the same equation.
I saw myself in every character that offered their individual unguarded opinion about interracial relationsships.
I am always in awe at gifted people like yourself because you express such emotional skills during your storytelling because it is so detail oriented.
I can give several different faces to the several different characters because their individuality expresses their singular opinion.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
| writer262003 4/7/06 . chapter 7
Your piece moved me to tears. Let me tell you why. I am currently married. Interacially so, by my choice yes, and by my choice no. The reality iswhen Iw as growing up, I had a dream that my mate would refelct me on every level. EVERY level. He would be educated. he didn't have to have one of those fancy jobs...be all corporate or what not. Hell, he could have spent his days hopping on and off the back of the Garbage Truck as long as he loved me, and as long as he was black.
As a young girl growing up, I had MAny dating oppotunities. All of my boyfriends were black, and I was certain that my husband would be also. I was feeling nor could I see the dire situation that awaited me. As I grew older, and the years roled on, lovers came and lovers wnet, and still I did not have that black man on my arm...the one I would return to my Highschool reunion ten years later with and brag to my old friends about how well he was treating me.
The years continued to move on and I watched every woman of every race around me marry a black man, and yet I remained single. Wait, something wasn't quite right. I was suppose to have first choice. I mean, I had the same skin color, the same history, and hell, nine times out of ten the same damn up brining, but me, and many woman like me just were, and are not good enough.
My husband is Latin by my choice , but not by my choice. I love him dearly, but sometimes I resent the fact that I was denied what I wanted. I wanted chocolate babies that could appreciate my history. I will have mixed babies with whom I will have to be politically correct. My house hold is mixed remember.
I will have Mixed babies who may hate me more than most whites. I will have mixed babies that may deny me and tell me they're not black but mullato. Funny how when black women were having these mixed babies they were called black but when an overwhelming number of white women start pumping them out suddenly they are "Bi-racial and all these other new era names. Real funny.
If you can't tell by my post that I'm bitter, let me be the first to tell you. Six years headed into my seventh of interacial bliss. Yeah, right. The point is, no one wants to be alone. And with the way the tides are going black women will find themsleves same as me FORCED to accept love whether it's comes how she wanted it or not.
Anyways, I have ranted long wnough. I just wanted to state my piece. I am positive I have offended some with what I have said, but oh well. Anyways, great job!
| Soundless-Rhapsody 3/5/06 . chapter 2
These monologues are amazing. I appreciate you making these because I can certainly identify with pretty much everything me, being a young black woman,and being surrounded by plently of black guys who go for girls who are everything black girls. I try to believe its beautiful because it's love but i cant seem to help but feel hurt because they seem to "look down" on black women. This all touches home with me. Also, me being a young black girl who's quite diverse and interested in guys of different races also made it enjoy it even more. I love it! Good work.