Hmm. I liked the overall idea of the poem, but it sort of sounds like you were jumbling a bunch of confused feelings together. I also think the whole capitalizing the first letter of each word was kind of useless and made it kind of choppy, but it was original none the less.

So now for my constructive critisism. I really liked all the different ideas that were portrayed in this poem, it was lovely. But I think you need a link between "Until it's all just a dream" and "Slowly close my eyes". Maybe you could make it "And slowly close my eyes" instead, so that it sort of links the two lines together and keeps the flow moving along nicely. I also think you need a link between "In my mind" and "I don't exist". Maybe "Because I don't exist"? Lastly, "For my existence was never real" is a great ending line, but it just doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem. I mean, I suppose it COULD make sense, but it makes the ending slightly weak. Don't get me wrong, it's a very strong line, but just the fact that it kind of throws you off track makes it rather weak.

I'm terribly sorry if it feels like I'm totally crushing your poem, but I just get sick of people writing "Great work! Keep writing!" in reviews and never telling you what you could fix so that you can improve. It truly was an awesome poem though. I really enjoyed reading it.

You might want to check out http://w.youngpoets.ca/forum/index.php - it's a forum for Canadian teenage poets (but you can obviously become a member even if you aren't Canadian). You would get some really awesome feedback on your work if you post some of it up there.

Anyways, once again, lovely poem!

-Tami.

i like it... the constant caps make me think that u took a bunch of titles and strung them together, srry, lol, i think a bit too much

Deep, and well-detailed, I loved it, keep up the good work.

Much love,Juliet.