this is amazing,. you have a gift

*applauds* bravo! I was with you every step of the way... I especially liked the chocolate reference. then again, i like pretty much any reference to chocolate :) the only rough spot I saw was "in my head like/a favorite song that/you can't stop listening to" first, why the second person? also, it's just very normal and colloquial while the rest of the piece verges on profound. anyway, well written.

Um...I don't know if you care, or not, but all of you 'I's are lowercase, and in the first stanza, first line, you need an " ' " in "can't".In the 2nd stanza, 9th line, "unreached" shouldn't have an " ' ".

Nice poem, though. I like the way you ended it w/ a question.

Keep writing!

wow... that's wonderful... it's just so... so sadish... the love is so lost... regret.. *sigh* keep writing! ^.^

I don't really know what to say about this. It is so easy to understand wich emotions are here, and it's just beautiful. Well done

Dorien

I loved the style of this; I really fell into your words easily; I lived it with the life of the verses.

Much love,Juliet.