This is so engrossing... I couldn't tear myself away. Really controlled.

This was honest and yet deciving at the same time. Cold, but full of dreams long lost. I enjoyed it. The repetion was good, for the most part. There are a few minor details that you should work over. I liked the effect of having the words centered. Most of the time it just looks cheesy, but this worked; very well. Sort of gave the effect that she was falling deeper into herself, or deeper into a world she had no desire to be in.

Excellent the repetitions, word choice, length and subject matter leaves me in awe.

I don't want to sound crude or to and by no means diminish your work but is this in anyway connected to Masta Ace's Dear Yvette.

"She had dreams once". An ash-smeared, dirty truth. Strong. Regretful. True.

-And never marry even though she callculated that many men- *calculated*

Ah, this is an excellent poem. My favorite so far by you. The rhythm is super good, and I love the repitition. It's very effective. You once again told a story through your poetry, painting a beautiful (yet tragic) picture with amazing imagery. And, the most remarkable thing, you made Yvette so real-so real that I feel as if I could go downtown right now and see her standing there. And the emotions and pity that we feel for her is quite amazing considering this is just a poem. I felt things that I usually only feel in prose.

Excellent job with this.

hey, i'm going to be honest and i hope u dont mind, but i dont really like this one much. its too angsty for me tho the descriptions and the imagery is really good. u really empathise with the girl and i can actually feel wot she's feeling. its well written and put together well. good job:-) ang/mez

o..m..g..this is so good..so devastatingly beautiful..

the message and story in this is truly breathtaking good work

keep writing!

first of all, i would like to thank you for your wonderful feedback on my poem. i really appreciate it, and decided to return the favor. this poem was absolutely amazing - beautifully written, and your unique style made the piece even more captivating. this took my breath away, and i am definitely interested in reading more of your work. please keep writing.

I really liked this poem. It was powerful and true. Definitely one of your best.

Beautiful and mesmorizing.

My heart goes out to yvette, though i know it won't help. A poem echoing the tale of lost innocence and hope, i loved it. Yet i find yvette is still a mystery somewhat. There's an enigma there and you have wrote that well.

But these are just my thoughts, and i thought it was brilliant and no one could make me think differently.

*Black Plastic Wings*

Talk about making someones heart go out to the people that everyone has a comment on...a snicker...an undersided joke. You definatly make the guilt pour down by showing us in this piece that we are all human.

Yvette, the descriptions and story behind this were wonderful. I think you definatly have a way with entwining and story with character development in this poem. Very good on that note.

I suppose this poem also made me think about not letting the past turn me into something horrid. She kept looking back and dreaming and wishing and hoping for a time machine almost. I think it shows that we should be grateful for what we have and to take the chances we see laid in front of us.

Very good piece once more Dear Ebony bravo as always.

This is woven together so beautifully. I love the repetition of "She Had Dreams Once". The imagery is lovely as well.

This poem just made my heart break. I love it. I cried, I'll admit it. I especially love the idea of her being 'some one's whore'. My heart goes out to Yvette..tell her I love her :).

*Hillary*

wow. I've read similair themes and yet I've never been as touched then with this one. gorgeous work.

* noelle