|Reviews for electric fruit|
| tonight we bloom 7/9/09 . chapter 1
| Faithless Juliet 3/1/06 . chapter 1
and swallow mein the electric fruit of your breath.-That’s so powerful; I love the idea of being swallowed - like small enough (Thumbelina-ish if you will) to be contained in someone else. I think that there’s no other way to be closer to anyone, so of course we can’t do it.
So I’m here to say what’s up! How’s life? Haven’t heard anything from you in while.
| no.peace.los.angeles 1/14/06 . chapter 1
Wow, this was pretty weird for me. That last line especially is just strange. I'm not sure if I got the metaphor (if there was one), but it's certainly a vivid image, which is always something to strive for in poetry (and something I can say I don't always do...oops). Nice work. Keep writing! :)
| Night-Sorceress 9/6/05 . chapter 1
I don't really know if you were aiming for that but I'll say it anyways... it had a very sensual feel but not yet sexual. It had a few suggestives things bit it was very well though through. Makes the imagination run a bit... very good I loved it.
| Lines To Time 9/4/05 . chapter 1
Oh, I'm really loving your writing. You don't use a lot of imagery, which I normally wouldn't like, but the way you do it is effective and easy to read (something that's often missing from poetry!). And when you do use it ("the electric fruit of your breath"- I love that), it stands out all the more and makes it even more beautiful. Lovely job.
| Mysterious Bloodbath 8/31/05 . chapter 1
both interesting and intriguing. I could see the person actually eating the fruit, but there was probably some sort of hidden meaning that I'm not sure I got. thanks for the review.
| swtdreamz101 8/31/05 . chapter 1
huh...interesting. i just see someone eating a fruit, but they were messy enough to have the juice coming out of the corner of their mouth. omg...i'm so bad at seeing the hidden picture haha :D sorry maybe i'm just tired. but good job
| Thorn's-girl 8/30/05 . chapter 1
Very vivid, and unconventional in subject matter, which is AWESOME.
"The mess is already made, soak up the flowers and swallow me"
Excellent, excellent. Many compliments.
| Mister Pillow 8/30/05 . chapter 1
Pretty weird but writing style-wise it's good.