FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Zeurpiet 2007-05-30 ch 1,  | abuseOoh... I like this, very expressive and great meter. Keep up the good work!! |
| Viktrona 2006-06-30 ch 1, | abuseintreating it's pretty good except i don't really like the fact that 0 god is reapeated one line after another 4 or 3 times maybe you could repeat it only one or put something in between the o god that doesn't start off with o god? excellent words |
| boys kiss girls 2006-03-06 ch 1, | abuseWow, thats crazy good. |
| Marie Ellen 2006-02-02 ch 1, | abuseWow. This was amazing. Short, but from the very first line I could not look away. It sort of sweeps you along, almost painfully (but in a good way...I know, vague) until it releases it's sharp hooks and lets you go with that last, soothing, line. Thank you for the review of "All I Have," especially because it referred me to your stuff! |
| Teigra Michaels 2006-01-05 ch 1, | abuseYour poem has great imagery, and the vibe to it fits the language that you have used. Haha I sound smart, but all I'm trying to say is that your poem is great. And thank you for all of the tips you have given me for my poems, I might just take your advice. Thanks. |
| Joelle Duran 2006-01-05 ch 1, | abuseLove the rhyme in this, quite adds to the flair of those passionate lines. I especially like how you build up all that frustration and then restrain it with the last line--nice turnabout that reminds me a little of some sonnets. |
| circumspice 2005-12-11 ch 1, | abuseWow, this is excellent...the imagery is so powerful. The rhyming is nice too, it doesn't seem strained or forced. I can definitely identify with this feeling. |
| nevermore, the silent cry 2005-11-17 ch 1, | abuseoh whoah, powerful. VERY, very very. awesom eimages. one line that's alittle off: O God, I could rave like the mad being I am'iambics are weird by like, a tiny tiny bit, but other than that, good. very good. coolness. |
| alexialynne 2005-11-17 ch 1, | abusei agree that this piece is very emotional. but its good. u grasped the moment pretty well and the descriptions were very vivid as well. nice one. thanks for reviewing my story..unfortunately, i've temporarily stopped writing that story. but if you do like romance, check out my other stuff. thanks and all the best! will read ur stories once i can spare the time! |
| method acting 2005-11-16 ch 1, | abuseInstead of taking this as an elementary piece, I saw it was something reflective. perfect, in any case. It reminded me of a piece I read previously. Not on this site though...published and whatnot. In anycase, I don't like how it's repetitive necessarily...and I think that the flow is shifty because of the different lengths. Read your pieces outloud to yourself if you don't already. Count the sylabals and the beats, make it rhyme, with rhythm. Nice job, keep it up. |
| xHannahx 2005-11-07 ch 1, | abuseinteresting, you can really feel the torment and the repetition definitely works! nicely done. Han. |
| rrmehta364 2005-10-13 ch 1, | abusei like this poem, the set up is quite nice. not much more to say. |
| Areneth 2005-10-02 ch 1, | abuseWow, this poem is so amazing! The flow is so brilliant! I could never write a poem like that. That is true art. |
| Chandra-Moon 2005-09-28 ch 1, | abuseThis has such a lovely rhythm to it--very good. |
| Alzemu 2005-09-26 ch 1, | abusei really like this story. it gives me the impression of the feelings of us teenagers in a whole picture. i really like your writings. adding u to my fav author list 'clickitty' lol. and i don't do that much. |