FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Alyssa's Attic 2006-05-20 ch 1,   | good i like it |
| eden is burning 2005-12-09 ch 1, | that was just amazing. so deep and i love the last stanza x |
| Holli-chan Stevens 2005-09-18 ch 1, | Wow... That was really deep. I love the whole repetition, I nearly laughed out loud at the last stanza. It really gives you a profound sense of life, especially the second stanza. You had a great grasp on what goes through the mind of people. I'm finding it hard to come up with some CC... Ah! In the second stanza, it sounds a bit choppy in the end. Perhaps change the line breaks a bit so that it flows, and maybe change 'sadly are lacking' to 'are sadly lacking.' It would just float along a bit better, because you sail through the first stanza and a half and then you kind of get stuck on those few lines, which hinders the momentum of the poem. Toodles! --Holli! |
| Xavier Everett 2005-09-08 ch 1, | I'm not sure what to say about this poem. It's making me think, though, and I suppose that's what a good poem should do. Anyway, good job. |
| Boadicia 2005-09-02 ch 1, | I love this! Very powerful and thought provoking, but with an unexpected anti-climax. Very nice. |
| sirius chatham 2005-09-01 ch 1, | Amazing. Few other words can describe how much I love this poem. Favorites list for sure. I love the ending. It's so...I dare myself to say nihilistic, in a sense. I don't know. I just like it a lot. It's so reality bordering on fantasy. Ah, it's just incredible. Sirius Chathamps r/r my work too |