Wow, you know, it's not really my favorite type of poem and there's a strange mix of simple words and complicated depth that's really appealing. I love it.

Love,
~Dia

Hello my very first reviewer.

This poem presents quite an abstract view of death. It's amazing how you can condense a whole world of meaning into just a few short lines. So that's one thing commendable. There is also the use of some interesting symbols like 'soulless bells' and 'red cars'. I wonder what they mean...

The only thing I can find that doesn't seem quite right is the use of the contraction 'it's' in the second line of the opening verse. I do think you were referring to "its".

Anyway, this is quite a nicely written poem. Good job =)

I like this, mostly because I totally understand it. ( I was one of the kids that feared the dark till I was like, 9! Hehe...) I really like this line right here:

You heave a sigh and then you dieAnd dawn reveals the hole.

Not sure why. I just do. I'm adding you to my favorites list, otherwise I'll forget to read your stuff!

"Shrouded in it's folds,Darkness covers my eyes,But my ears hear no liesAs death passes into the soul."

very dark, and well written. The whole poem feels very heavy - exactly like death. Excellent job.

(oh and btw i took your advise on the "wings of a raven" thing, thanks xD)

Ooh... very Poe like, only it isn't as epic as his. Good job.

Hey that is pretty Good writing. Oh yeah I re-wrote the Sp errors u told me about.

Thanks for reviewing my story, I've been told I have very short chapters, it's a bad habbit of mine, anywho I really liked your poem, it's deep...

My poem 'puppies' is not disturbed. I mean, a dog died, in your poem a PERSON died. And in both poems we both wrote very well. both our rhyme schemes are excellent. and i don't see a problem with it. and i did post a warning. well continue your writing. hope u can find something cheery. WRITE ON! (=

Liked it! especally the second stanza.

cel

*fan girl death* lol. Wow this is beautiful I love the way it was written, great work.

I imagined this poem would have more rhyming, and if you wish, I really think it could work...

I fear the night, the death it brings,Shrouded in its folds,Darkness (blah blah blah) WINGS

Sorta thing. Good job on this one too!

That was great. ^_^ Very dark, but great. I loved the way the words flowed effortlessly. I'd have to say my favorite line was this: "Funerals toll their soulless bells". Thanks for sharing.::WanderingSoul::