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| King of Water 2006-10-25 ch 7,  | abuseA new chapter! Great! It's certainly been a while... But I still really like this story and hope you'll continue with it! |
| MyNameIsMad 2006-10-11 ch 1, | abuseWow, with an opening like this, how could anyone resist reading a bit more? I wasn't sure if you were going for the "great and mighty" tone, or the "expository" tone in this introduction, so it seemed a little off at times. That's not to say it was bad, just a little off. You started off in a great and mighty, omnipotent voice, but then digressed into a sort of "this is this that is that" explanation of things. Again, not bad, but kinda puts a damper on the tone. Thanks for putting me on your fav. author list, by the way! -Mad |
| Casey Drake 2005-11-25 ch 6, | abuseheehee-- I already recognize two names from books. you've read Eragon and at least some of Anne McCaffrey's Pern books, haven't you? but I like. I like. :) CD |
| King of Water 2005-11-20 ch 6, | abuseGreat job again! I really love this story, and I can't wait to read more of it! I can't wait for the next chapter! |
| King of Water 2005-09-23 ch 5, | abuseIt's good. I like it. But I'm confused about the whole Aria thing. I like it, though, keep writing. Also, post the chapter where Caim takes the test! |
| temblance 2005-09-17 ch 5, | abuseThe knife part was pretty graphic, but cool. I could really picture it. good job. |
| temblance 2005-09-17 ch 4, | abuse"It was the power to smite, to burn, to tear flesh from bone, to save her father, it promised" Wonderful line. You really capture emotions there. I love your style of writing. |
| Casey Drake 2005-09-11 ch 5, | abusesome fragmented sentences, but otherwise cool. :) CD |
| Negasi 2005-09-09 ch 5, | abuseVery Very Nice. Reading this at 130 am and not feeling tired. But anyways.. Great story really peaked my intrest. Negasi |
| Casey Drake 2005-09-05 ch 4, | abuseI am a little confused about Aria, but Caim is cool. :) CD |
| Buddy Kyle 2005-09-04 ch 4, | abuseExcellent story, You can definitly count on my further reading of this story. There were points were a was thrown off a little, but I still enjoyed it. Keep writing and Can't wait for another installment - Buddy Kyle :) |
| temblance 2005-09-04 ch 3, | abuseOnce again, good dialogue. Good description. I can't wait for the plot to progress- this is a good premise for a story, especially after your "age of war" begining. |
| temblance 2005-09-04 ch 2, | abuseOkay...so for the formatting comments: There may be a reason you do the whole thing in italics and bold, but since I do not know the reason it might be better to have it in normal print. For the story comments- no grammar mistakes, as far as I could tell. That's awesome. I also love your description. It really adds to the story. The dialogue is realistic, and you definitely make me want to read on. |
| temblance 2005-09-04 ch 1, | abuseOh yes, throughout it's giant structure-- it's should be its. That's it for the grammar. Pretty good. Of course, being an introductory chapter it's kinda hard to tell where this is going, but you caught my interest. I will be reading on. Also, I know italics set the mood and stuff, but it is easier to read in normal font. Well, I liked it. |
| Casey Drake 2005-09-03 ch 1, | abuseoo... :) CD |