 bjw 2005-10-11 . chapter 1Somehow the last two lines really clicked. They capture so succinctly the essence of what so many people feel...wonderful!^^ The poem expresses the narrator's feelings simply yet clearly.
One teeny thing though: I thought this line, "I fear I will fade" sounded a little awkward. It just didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem.. what about "I don't want to fade..."? ^^ Heh, maybe it's just me.
Anyways, good job, keep writing!:) |