[Applause]
That was absolutely amazing.
And so true to.
Us teens are sorta- as you said-
worshipping celebs.

The only thing that it does
promote is women's
demoralisation.
And everyone is just sucking it
up.No one is even realizing it.

.

Great job, so true!

I really like this. I completely agree. It reminds me of something kind of similiar I wrote - "A Letter To Vogue." (Check it out if you want. Same general idea. But i really like the words you chose.) Anyway.. why can't everyone think like us? lol. anyway I love this, omg, its so good. its going on my favorites list.

anyway, with my poem, i actually sent it to the magazine. because i figured id have nothing to lose. ever think about it? just an idea. you might wanna tone down the phrase 'burn in hell' but otherwise i think its worth a shot. :-)

I like your choice of topic. It's unique. I especially like how you ended the poem, but I would suggest one change which will improve bothe the rhythm and grammar:

"You deserve to be burnt to hellyou evil teen magazine."should be:"You deserve to burn in hellyou evil teen magazine."

Here here!

:)

This was great! Really agree with you on it as well.

Awesome job

Wicked awsome! Those magizine things are so stupid, I mean they'd be ugly as freakin hell if they didn't have so much make-up on. Well, great poem!

You asked for precision so I will try. Hopefully I will succeed at making sense while I do so.

First of all, excellent protrayal of an idea. I do not doubt that others share your sentiments. I adored the way you call it the Devil's handbook. It produces such evocative images. The style you settled on enabled you to write a poem with freedom and flow.

There were some errors that I picked up as well. I'm not sure if they were done purposely or not. Feel free to ignore the ones that are.

In the second line: "You deceive all who reads." I thought that read would fit better.

"Though your cover's quite the looks," doesn't seem to fit properly either. It's as if a word is missing. Through your cover's, quite the looks. Or, though your cover has quite the looks.

In the next line: "you create such malicious deeds." I like where you decided to go with that though I must contest it. It is a difference of interpretation I beleive. I don't think those magazines create the deeds. They create the needs that lead to the deeds. It's not like the magazine is whispering in your ear that you need to shoplift that eyeliner if you want to be pretty. It just takes away some of your self worth so you feel the need to do so. With that acute need, you feel it necessary to commit the deed. That is a human failing. That is you giving in to the seeds the writings planted in your head. I would have said needs there not deeds. Those are my sentiments though. It is your worth and if you believe it create's the deed, that's your perogative. I can't bring myself to blame everything on it in that manner. Sometimes we need to look within ourself to find the problems.

I love the lines: "Why question my founded morals and the appearance of my face? Is the natural visage so horrible that no coverage is a disgrace?" The rhyme gave it this great bounce in your head to read along with it. That passage also evoked these great images. Excellent wording as well.

Same with the next line. Amazing imagery.

I once again encountered a bump in the next line: "I shall not worship their fame and beauty, even if you demand it's a must." The first part once again contains great imagery. It's the second bit that bugged me. "Even if you demand it's a must." It just doesn't quite work. I know what you're saying but that line just didn't jive. Even if you name it a must. Even if you dub it a must. You want to keep the rhyme. That much is evident. And, well you should. It works well. But the demand dosn't fit in this setting.

"Shall I remove my dignity because you say it so?" Remove and say. One could stay maybe. Together, that don't really work. Shall I discard my dignity because you outline it so? Or something different. Just throwing ideas in the air. The say and so just don't work with the it between them. Shall I remove my dignity at your say so? I'm not sure but there's something off.

"Let this be my final wordthat my reply to you is 'no'." It has a greater effect if you leave it as Let this be my final word: my reply to you is 'no'.

"Uniqueness is so wonderfuland intelligence supreme.You deserve to be burnt to hellyou evil teen magazine."Amazing ending.

I did really like this poem. I just wanted to offer those ideas. I hope you aren't offended with my line by line break down of your piece of work. I do not mean to offend. I simply see so much potential in these lines that could reach a new level with some adjustments. It is meant to be constructive only. I would not have taken the time to write such a long and in depth review if I didn't appreciate what you had done.

Moranar

I LOVE THIS! so true so well rhymed and written.. and lets not forget its effect on boys, I know friends who read their sister's mags, and the devil's handbook spreads on..

Wow, never thought of it that way. But then again, I don't really look at magazines; but you get my point. Like the others, I liked this poem. You are a very bright writer.

Tschau,Sam

hehehe i LOVE this poem... it is so... funny. enjoyable to read and so true. good writing ^_^

Great, great poem! I absolutely agree that teen magazines are evil. Very well put. :)

Whoa! That was just so well done! I totally agree! Another poem like this please! I can't tell you how many times I look at myself and think, well this should really change, or I should get that tube top..thanks for letting me know I don't have to. =)~bizzy

Hehe~ i like the bit of off beat humor~ good work!

keep writing!

I found the last few lines amusing...lol. i totally agree with you on this one. Nice work!