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| Eboniccinderella 2006-06-06 ch 1, anon. | abuseI don't see the hypocrisy at all.After all,this is a poem about women who "choose" to be whores.If you're raped,that implies that you did not want it to occur,therefore,this poem does not apply to you. |
| Rozlin 2005-12-20 ch 1,  | abuseRather hypocritical, if you think about it. my question is, what if you had no choice and not only are you used but you are broken? What if your virginity was violently stolen? |
| simpleplan13 2005-10-28 ch 1, | abuseawesome poem.. sadlky so true.. great point made here |
| xHannahx 2005-10-16 ch 1, | abusei dont know how much i agree with this i think its a little too generalised. you have a very american outlook (i cant tell if u r or not) and the poem works well. its just the message im not so sure about. maybe i was just lucky. Han. |
| Matt Sheard 2005-09-30 ch 1, | abuseNot all blokes treat women that way, I assure you! Glad I'm waiting until I'm married! Anyways, now we've cleared that up, this is a good piece. The reference to the girls in your school deviated a bit and didn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem, but some of the description works well. Especially like the start of the third stanza, got the picture of a comical Betty Boop type character trying to attract the boys. The lines "**'s incredible / If they are lucky enough to get one before he does" is also very clever in getting across your message. Nice work, great message. Just leave off the all round bloke slagging! ;-) Matt |
| hoowdoideletethisaccount 2005-09-06 ch 1, | abuseI don't know if it was meant to, but it sounds a little anti-guys.. it's not like lust belongs only to the male gender :) Interesting subject though. Sex without commitment of any kind isn't love-I totally agree with you there. |
| The Postscript 2005-09-06 ch 1, | abuseCan't relate to the topic...yet more and more I've heard stories of rape cases...and seen teenage girls going to school pregnant. I find it disgusting how young girl's are foolish enough to think this love will last when a baby comes in, and think it's horrible there are guys who are willing to screw with a girl like that. You have chosen a very in-depth topic to write about and portray it as so: you shouldn't mess around in love. |
| account not in use 2005-09-05 ch 1, | abuseThis rings through my mind, tortures me, because it. is. true. I am used goods, I am a **, a **, nothing but a girl messed up so she goes looking for what's lost underneath a boy's clothes, gazing into those pretty eyes while my mind explodes and I forget for a minute that I am, as I said, used goods.But-some men are okay with used goods. it's the boys that have the issues, sometimes. Esp. when they're the ones who ** you over and you go into the arms of someone else. Drama. I lvoe it. Beautiful writing, by teh way. |
| mizu no kokoro 2005-09-05 ch 1, | abuseAlthough i can't quite relate to the subject~~ it's a good poem nevertheless~~ good job keep writing! |