wow. so pretty. I love how you throw in metaphors like "your mouth strecthed open like a rubber band" ...it jerks you away so suddenly cuz you don't expect it.

Wonderful metaphor - I especially fell in love with these lines "Your mouth stretched open like a rubber band. I cannot hear the forest song, nevertheless it drags me by my hiar, to join the...Wildflowers" Just wow!

Here rises up red brambled rose,

No one will tramp on her rock ledge,

For pink skin bleeds when brown thorn pierced,—

Not so soft lily in green fields,

Her purity soft subtle sheen,

A chastity soon bruised by feet,—

¿Is it thus fair that life must be,

A battle constant for our peace,—?

Not even beauty given free,

Can earn a price to live and breathe,

Without the surety of sting.

ah, imagery!love the way you do your paragraphing and the way you arrange the stanzas. very good effect.your imagery is highly provocative. "lie down upon those bloodlessly red lips."love that line, excellent wordplay. *loveandstars.persian_eyes

i like this style, it suits you in a funny way-

disjointed.

chachacha.

i think the way you segregate parts of a sentence from another by using new lines is a way of emphasising on those other lines, as if those are to be seen diferently- as a new beginning, as a new thought?

i hope that made sence.

Beautiful...I love the rich images that are so complecated yet in the same way just seem to flow. Keep up the great work.

The enjambement is pulled off beautifully. Love the way you put ideas across, and you've managed to link the stanzas up nicely! Good job.

You've mixed a lot of humanistic qualities with nature. Interesting!

I love the lines "I will not even risk an hour/To listen to the songs of the flowers, or their tales of human feet."

Haha I haven't logged in here for so long I almost forgot my password XD

I personally think this poem is testament to how simplicity of vocabulary can bring out effects rivalling that of complex lexicon. I know you have a very extensive vocabulary and that manifests itself quite often in your writing. Not that that's a bad thing, but it does get somewhat overwhelming sometimes for those of us whose word banks aren't as rich, and who thus have to depend on the dictionary to extract meaning XD. I think this is a refreshing display of your adeptness at personification and imagery.

Muchly admired by this humble reviewer :)

wow. very... fresh. i like the imagery. nice.