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| helle xandria encaitarince 2006-08-22 ch 1, | abusewow! *i really want to know the explaination ^.^* "...but only the harsh desert wind hears him." i can totally hear the utter sorrow in his voice... "the line between light and dark" is an incredible transition... love it! great job. xoxo-xan |
| TheUberManlyMan 2005-09-06 ch 1, | abuseAgain, I liked this story a lot :D. The subtitles worked very well. By making the story plottable and organized like that, you made this event seem like a common occurence, one repeatedly mapped throughout history. Which is quite sad. The only one I would relook is "unknown." That's a bit weak and stands apart from the rest of them. Also, I'm not too sure about this, but it might be nice to put some more variety in the chief's lines. Maybe. Give it a thought, at least. Overall, it was a very good sci fi story. Thanks for the good read! |
| sweetscribbles 2005-09-06 ch 1, | abuse*insert jaw-dropping here* Wowie, redhead, what an eyecatcher! I really like the style; the italicized words were a nice touch, and the writing in general was different in a very good way. I liked the minimal physical description of the "shadow-dwellers," but the in depth sceneray depiction. Bravo, girl! Bravo. |