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| Agent Firefly 2006-08-06 ch 1,  | abuseI like this. I like how you came right out and called the alien what he was: "the alien"--rather than having the reader use context clues and such without really saying it (I think I do that sometimes to avoid being cliche, but it really just makes it cliche...). And I like how the dialogue just begins and ends naturally, there's no explanation of how the alien knows the right language to speak: he just does. Those things aren't the point of the story and the real point shines in what the alien has to say. It seems as though this could continue or just stand on its own; either way it's nicely done. |
| Rozovian G 2005-09-09 ch 1, | abuseI sort'a recognize some of the thoughts from your other works and our chats, but there were some new things. As always, there's some bit of wisdom I didn't have before. I'm just a little confused about how the alien can be sorry if it had no diea about human emotions... Maybe it's just me, but maybe it's the english language. Anyways, there was a sentence that seemed kind'a... weird. The one about perspective somewhere pretty early on... You might want to get it fixed... Or maybe not. I dunno. Whatever. |