FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Maruit 2005-10-27 ch 1,  | abuseI really like how the poem is fragmented yet isn’t lost in fragments to the point where it becomes confusing. What I’m trying to say is that it was easy to fallow even though your lines used fragments in conveying detail, especially in your first stanza. I’d have to say that my favorite line was “Rising from coal and exotic salts”. I don’t know why but this line stuck out to me, I think it might be your use of the word exotic, I like that word. :) |
| mizu no kokoro 2005-09-16 ch 1, | abuseGreat imagery in this poem~~ keep writing! |
| simpleplan13 2005-09-13 ch 1, | abusebeautiful |