FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Shadow of Oblivion013 2005-09-17 ch 1,   | i like this poem. beautifully done. ive probably thought these thouhgts before, and have had true hatred for someone. nicely done. k/w just,~shadow |
| krazEstace 2005-09-09 ch 1, | awesome story/poem! *huggles to you* keep up the excellent writing! |
| Saeger 2005-09-09 ch 1, | Well it's true- the part about shoing the of people like that. The way i read it, it sounded freeform- but it was well written. |
| eraced 2005-09-09 ch 1, | wow! being anoyed make you write graet stuff,but your stuffs always graet. nice work and morbiddy can ** off. nice work keep it up. shadow in the dark. erAced |
| SunniGRL2007 2005-09-08 ch 1, | hey.It is good! I am sorry to hear someone is insulting you! That isn't very nice of them.Any ways, it is really good! |
| wolf-fang909 2005-09-08 ch 1, | Very good poem. It is true. |
| xxxxxxxxy 2005-09-08 ch 1, | very powerful. the repetition (unlike lots of other poems) did not make it boring, but it emphasised your point and it. Your combination of words was wonderful. The only thing that got to me was "For hells too nice". "Nice" is a word that doesn't deserve to be in such a powerful poem, especially not at the end where you are talking about hell and pain. I think the only thing I like about it is that it gives the phrase two meanings: the person punishing you would be to nice to send you to hell, and that hell is too nice for you. I still don't think such a hissing sounding word belongs in a place where everything sounds like a low, grating of stone. Look to find a word with the same meaning but with a powerful, stabbing sound. I'm not quite sure what. me trying to help: "kind", sounds a litlle better, would give a specific meaning to the sentence though; "generous"; "good" has a hard thump to it; "decent"; oh god, I don't know! Anyway, great poem!it will be the first thing I've put on my favorites list! |
| Brinneh 2005-09-08 ch 1, | way to plug your anger into this, I could feel it. Nicely done.~Nea |
| kynikos 2005-09-08 ch 1, | Interesting poem, its very expressive. |
| Faithless Juliet 2005-09-08 ch 1, | Deep, and well-detailed, people bash me here to sometimes, really the best thing to do is ignore them. Keep up the good work. Much love,Juliet. |