I have to say nice ending to begin with or is it the ending? Oh I hope not! What happens next! The thoughts of the character really made her seem like she was the victom and then she the angel of death coming to get the aristocratic vampire that was teasing her was a twist. The hole story was really told in diologe. I'd like to know more about the characters and the environment. Just a thought and besides my opinons that my be annoying, I really liked it!

The main problem with your story is the missing spaces between quite a few words and the punctuations; in the places where there should be commas, there are none. The full stops are confusing at times, because you were inconsistent in the number of dots used for your "..."s, so I can't tell if the ".."s were just typos or actually "..."s.

Nevertheless, there were quite a few bits in the story I liked, especially the part where she tells herself that she should stop talking to herself.

Perhaps you could join a few of the really short sentences together to make a complex one to make the story flow better.

...the ending is amazing!

Very good! Liked it a lot. Humerous, and a well rounded short story!The only thing wrong, was the dialogue; it was sometimes hard to tell who was speaking. Otherwise, and awesome story.