Wonderful! Especially the lines: We are just a tool to hurt othersSooty blackness in bullet casingsAbrasive personalities cause the sparkNice little metaphor.

Good poet... I like it. Keep it up and get your butt back into writing lazy bones... lol. just kidding. I loved this poem. There is noway in hell I could base my poems on metaphors. Good JOB!

Ciao, Fallen Angel

There is so much symbolism crammed into this, with so many different meanings that could apply. That kind of poetry is rare. This never loses its flow, either. Very nice job. I was going to say "I will light this match for truth/ Toss it over my shoulder for life/ And blow us all to hell and back" are my three favorite lines...but then I read the rest of it and realized every line after those ones is better than the one before. By the end, you've crafted a very round, rock-solid piece of work that could warrant hours of analysis. All in all, a very good poem.

As for my poem, I know what you mean. I don't actually intend to stay in bed--it was actually meant as a symbolic action. Nothing in there actually happened. But while we're on the subject, I think it's perfectly fine to go through life not knowing who you are. If you expect to know right away, chances are you'll be disappointed.

In any case, that poem isn't really written from my perspective. It's actually from a girl's--her name's Nile Hayward, and she's the main character of the story where I was initially going to work in that poem. I don't mean to sound like an ad, but I liked your honest take on my poem, so I figure you could help me out with my story: it's called Wild-Eyed Circus. I'm really serious about it, so I'd appreciate all the suggestions I can get.

Wow, long review. Then again, those are the only kind I leave. Thanks.

-Cob

interesting...great imagery throughout the poem.