   The Great Charlatan 2005-12-12 . chapter 1Sigh...
Everyone is a critic.
Well...Do you think I am going to blast you due to pleasentries presented? No. Opinions are delightful, and yours make me smile.
Now, poetry wise, this is a nice little piece. It has a lot of really cool imagery to it, but it is lacking in some structural aspects. This is free form and floating. While a pretty fair piece, it does not show a lot of elegence and art to it. I think if you thought it through a bit more it might have some more bite to it. You seem to dig repetition a lot, so see if you can find something to repeat that you can tie the whole piece together with. Some of your other work brushes on this but not as effectively as it could. I am not going to try and tell you how to do it, but it is a suggestion.
As far as the subject matter, of all of your work that I have read thus far, just do it. Talk about it. Get it on the table. You can either play the cards you have, or question it forever. Live today like the end is already determined, and you will have no fear, and in the end will not be disappointed.
These are but suggestions,Take em or leave em,But be excellent to yourself my freaky little Forsaken darling.
Charlatan |
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