it was fab

Wow that sounds pretty impressive Toby. keep up the good work.

I really like the title. Only thing that confused me was the photograph. Do they have cameras in this world of yours? Maybe the queen could have a painting of them instead? Just a thought.

Hmm...this chap was a little confusing. I think there's too much going on at once.

Oh, the wicked step-mother...

I think you're getting better at the descriptions, but they're still a bit lacking. Your characters are so cute and loveable! lol. Seriously. It brings me back to the old days of yore, back when I still read the Dumb Bunnies and Magic Treehouse.

I love the cute fairytale appeal.

I think the queen is evil. Why else would she have the world 'venom' in her name. It's good for a re-do (I've done some re-dos myself) but I think you're lacking in descriptions. The story...it just doesn't flow.

It's like a fairy tale...

This is unique in a good way. I think you should have at least got 20 reviews by now, its good!

Very intriguing story, nice detail. Keep up the good work! ^_^