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| Maid of the Mer 2006-04-11 ch 1, | HI! Cool story! YAY! Maid of the Mer |
| Saxifrage 2006-02-06 ch 3, | oh, what's going to happen? great chapter! you describes things really well, i thought. a few typos, but not enough so that i didn't understand what was going on. write more, and update soon! you're doing a wonderful job! xD |
| LuvRed 2006-01-20 ch 2, | this is a good story, plz update soon |
| WolfSinger 2005-09-19 ch 2, | oh thats tricky. good job gnomey, you are great at this. ~WolfSinger |
| Saxifrage 2005-09-18 ch 2, | Another great chapter! the message thing seemed to have gotten mixed up with the format though, you should be careful about that. But, when I edit your chapters, you don't need to keep the suggested senteces exact. You can bend them into your story. For example, i added in this little tid bit: “That was a worthy display of thievery,” He stated softly, in a deep, rich voice. but you could have made Trofl's voice cold and harsh if you wished. and here: "Loki knew Ranelik, who was a freelancer visiting the town," (etc.) you could have made it "Loki knew Ranelik, who was a traveling knives craftsman with a wondrous sympathy for yonglings and a nasty temper," you could really change that kind of stuff into anything you want. just go with the flow, whatever feels natural. Make sure the emotion is yours too. You don't want me adding in "angrily" when really the character is just being "distant and short". It could change the entire meaning behind the words that you needed to concentrate on. But aside from that, the chapter was perfect, and I enjoyed it immensely! here's a loofa for such a brilliant chapter!! *throws you a loofa* xoxo - Saxifrage |
| fortepiano 2005-09-18 ch 1, | Wow. I love your vivid discriptions and your writing style. I like how you began the story - it's a very captivating opening. I wish I could write like you!! I can't wait for the next chapter! :) Update soon! :D ~AriaSong |
| Saxifrage 2005-09-18 ch 1, | Awesome story! It's very detailed, and action-packed. I really like this Loki character, and I hope to read more about him soon! Update ASAP and I'll give you a loofa! xD xoxo - Saxifrage |
| WolfSinger 2005-09-18 ch 1, | it is not fair that you write so well! your vivid descriptions are nice, and this chapter ends well. i clap at you! :) |