This is a very good short story. 10 words is quite a bit longer than many and it even gives me an idea that I will use in a story of my own in the future. I didn't find any typos, and I never got lost. So very good job. I'd give this a 10/10. You will be in my favorite authors list

While reviewing your other two stories, I didn't even realize that you were new to Fictionpress: Welcome. Wow, 3 posts in one day! Looks like someone had a lot of free time in that LONG three day waiting period huh?

To your story: I have to really say first that I admire you for choosing not to censor your violence (it gives us a feel of how serious you are). Some people hold back on their violence and we sometimes lose the whole picture in between. I think that I already dtessed enough how much I like you work, one thing though; have you considered writing chaptered pieces, or are shorter writes more your style? Either way, I know you'll be fine.Keep posting