Hey there, It's me again.Sorry it took so long for me to submit a review, but I'm in school now and I have very little time. I'll try to get around to your others today.

I'm sort of disappointed with this one...there are a lot of things that I love about your style that I didn't quite catch here. For one I found myself losing interest and forcing myself to read on (I find this normal with the average writer, like me, but not with you.)

Another problem I have is the smoothness of your dialogue. I found myself slowing down at your dialogue so as to get a proper grasp of who said what. It wasn't much of a big deal to me, but I noticed that this is rated K+, and, well if you're writing for that age group and up, you should make sure that they can understand everything without difficulty.

But really, all in all, its still a good write (although I found your previous ones better)... Have a good one-T