I've never seen anything like this. It's very thought-provoking. By the way, that's a good thing.

i actually found it rather amusing. i thought it flowed nicely, except for the one line, "My skin will fold"--it just seems a tad out of place. like a hammer among scalples. that aside, i really liked it. however, i'm terrible at poetry, i don't really like poetry, and the last time i tried to write it i chucked my pencil so hard at the wall it stuck, so perhaps i'm not the most able critic.

it just doesn't really seem genuine to me... i don't know it just seems like you're being forced to write this... sorry :/ i know that's not helpful, but let it flow in your own way. I don't want to seem mean or anything:) i think it could be really good if you made it YOU this seems like you're writing it b/c a teacher told you to.