FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Insomiak 2006-07-17 ch 1,  | abuseI... I loved it. :3 Espically how you layed it out. It's a good point, man~ (heart) |
| I Murder on Impulse 2005-12-19 ch 1, | abusei dun noe y i do this ...mayb 'cos i dun lik it when ur upset! |
| I didn't do it! 2005-12-12 ch 1, anon. | abuseliked the last lines, and: We are judges Drunk and biased Sentencing the prisoner To their fate =D great job! but the lines /are/ very short, giving it a halting feel... im not sure if it was wat u were aiming for, but i still rkn it ruins the rythm just a little...well, a lot. > |
| barbie gurl 2005-11-23 ch 1, anon. | abusehey emmy! voldie is jus my coolest greatest luv he's a better ** buddy then u! and thats saying sumting seeing as u took my virginity and all that...none of ur reviewers r homophobes r they? cos this review mite turn them off ur stories ne way i lvu this poem as well!! cya, the assassin |
| blue 2005-11-17 ch 1, anon. | abuselol. def not ur best, but it's alright. really truthful. |
| xiaobudian 2005-10-25 ch 1, | abuseso true... I think that this poem is really tru e of the whole world. Great insight. |
| allyburner 2005-10-13 ch 1, | abuseWonderful. A few things: - the lines cud get a lil' longer. It's a bit tiresome reading three words at a time, and ruins the flow a little. But hey, if other ppl like it, who am I to say the short effect ain't work? - "It was all / Just a waste". Now I sound like a hypocrite saying this, but maybe... cut up the 'just a waste'. Maybe 'It was all / Just / A waste' ? It might sound a little more dramatic... - The emotion and everything is wonderful, only... the poem's name kinda doesn't fit. I expected a little humour, judging from the title, so... consider something a little darker. That's about it. The rest is great. Keep going. Oh, and maybe concentrate the ideas a little, you know, don't put too many concepts into one. Not sure if it's this poem or another one, but somewhere, you put all these ideas into one poem, and it kinda lost me. But this one is great. Loved it. Love all of them. :D -Ally B. |
| Sally-andersonn 2005-09-25 ch 1, | abuseI like this one. Its really truthful and how appearnace is probably all e care about. |