Reviews for When in Rome, Shun Rome

Reviews For: When in Rome, Shun Rome - Reviews: Page 1 of 10

Scared Loveless 2008-05-13 ch 45,	abuseThat's cute. It's weird loving your best friend, under any circumstances. You did a great job writing that. I can't wait to see what comes of this. George
fusionbeam 2008-05-12 ch 43,	abuseshort but still good
Scared Loveless 2008-05-10 ch 43,	abuseI really like this. I love how nothing is ever entirly explained, your always learning something new, and never really know what is going on. It gets kind of annoying, but is what keeps me interested. I hope to read more of this soon. Keep it up.
Casey Drake 2008-05-10 ch 43,	abuseOoh sweet! Naiad! :) CD
Casey Drake 2008-05-03 ch 42,	abuseVel is interesting. She's powerful, has a foot in both worlds, and yet unlike the other characters with those two qualities, she manages to hide pretty well. :) CD
I'm Blue 2008-05-03 ch 1,	abuseThat was very good. Engaging plot with just the right amount of humour. AWESOME combination.
Casey Drake 2008-04-30 ch 41,	abuseFinally the stories cross! Heeheeheeheehee. Awesome. I'm liking how both are developing. :) CD
Devaxe The Cat-Kid 2008-04-13 ch 40,	abuseOk, where are the other chapters? Great story, I hope you continue it. ^^ -Devaxe
Devaxe The Cat-Kid 2008-04-13 ch 39,	abuseSomehow, somehow I say this coming; that Kai was never a dragon, that it was all just a dream. GAH! More waking up in the middle of things! How is Jana convinced that she's part of Kai's dream? "(...)you had those when first we met." {"when we first met."} Things just seem to get stranger, don't they? -Devaxe P.S. As I reread my first sentence of this review, I now know that I was partially right.
Devaxe The Cat-Kid 2008-04-13 ch 38,	abuse"Dad and Jana {Kiri?} had long ago fallen asleep on the couch, snuggled next to each other, leaving me and Jana free to raid the kitchen, where our being more than a little awake wasn't going to wake them." {That last part may need some rewording.} Interesting on how Ailsa's mom is a mermaid now. Now by earring, do you mean the kind worn on ears? What's with the waking up?! You're confusing me. >< -Devaxe
Devaxe The Cat-Kid 2008-04-13 ch 37,	abuse"Oohh, okay, this is making more sense now. That type of faerie is very rare, and rarely seen nowadays. Normally pops up randomly in other faerie breeds, typically moths, for some reason. No one knows why, some think it's a genetic undercurrent, but the thing is, the kind your father is tends to be powerful in the magic they pursue. What it is depends, and can range to be just about anything, really. The wings and the amount of power is about the only thing that they have in common. Aside from being rare." {Not that that made any sense -rolls eyes-. It partially did. I'd probably understand it better if I was in a better mood...} "(...)she did bribe me into giving her her my voice in exchange for my sister.(...)" {Is that second "her" intentional?} Water, huh? Either Ailsa is ReAlLy thirsty, or something is going to happen. -Devaxe P.S. When I type words like this (HeLlO) imagine is in italics. Or emphasize the uppercased words.
Devaxe The Cat-Kid 2008-04-13 ch 36,	abuseHow does Mirielle know that Kai saved Ailsa? Or is it Alisa? "(...)Apparently her mom is really good at hiding?(...)" {Is that ? intentional?} "(...)maybe she was supposed to...” {Suppose to what?} “I don't know what he told you, but mom's parents think it's dad's fault she left and never sent so much as a letter. We haven't spoken to them since, even though they don't live that far from here.” {That's been said before.} /You were right about the river helping, though.\ {Kai} /I'm glad. You still look like you're going to fall asleep, though.\ {Mirielle} /I've been in the hospital all day, sue me.\ {Kai} {You may want to state who is mind speaking. Or use something other then /\ for Mirielle.} -Devaxe
Devaxe The Cat-Kid 2008-04-13 ch 35,	abuse“Thanks. Thanks for staying with me, I'm not a fan {of} hospitals.” Finally someone freaks, no offense. “Ma'am, if you can't keep your calm I must ask you to leave.” {Maybe take out "your".} "I carefully maneuvered it,(...)" {What is "it"?)} Maybe when he speaks with water, the font should be different? Or maybe use something like what you did/do with mind speech (/\). "(...)She looked up, saw me, and pinked, suddenly scared." {Pinked?} "I mean your dragon parents." {You forgot "" on this part (those are my "", btw.)} I started to become confused, a little, when Ailsa's mom started to explain what she knows. -Devaxe P.S. I still think your story is great. ^^
Devaxe The Cat-Kid 2008-04-13 ch 34,	abuseSo, what town is this taking place in? "I continued walking." {When did he start walking towards the dragon?} I think you should describe wither the new dragon is Chinese-like or Western-like. Is this new dragon the biological sister of Mirielle, or is she just a dragon sister? Either I missed the part where Mirielle told Kai about her sister, or this is the first time that you've mentioned her. (Yangtali) Ok, wouldn't the blond girl be freaking out right now? Some dude (with his tail out I presume) is standing on the river and can make water words. I'd be a little freaked out. It seems to me that people aren't freaking out as much as I thought they should. -Devaxe
Devaxe The Cat-Kid 2008-04-13 ch 33,	abuseHello, “Seriously, I'm sick of watching the same thing on TV and having no one around to change the channel when the soaps come on. This is going to be a very long six weeks.” {Now, are the six weeks mentioned, are they the six weeks in the hospital or at Jana's home?} Now, wouldn't Kai be embarrassed to dress his sister? I love it how Kai says everything by not saying anything. ^^ It's all in the facial expressions. ^^ -Devaxe, the Cat-Kid

Return to Top