Wow Nantanna, you've written so much, that's really good! I love your honesty in your writing and how you share your heart. This poem reminds me of so many of David's Psalms. He starts out discouraged, but then ends with hope. Very nice.

I especially love the image of standing up tall in the end. It relates so well with the heart of your poem and the theme of turning twentyone. It makes me feel like you've stooped down and examined some of the pain of your past, but now you've decided to stand up, look to the future and let fate shine down on you.

Lots of heart. Excellent writing. Way to go!