Reviews for The Visitor - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: The Visitor

Keimei-chan 2008-07-11 ch 1,	abuseWow...nicely done. The way you described the scenes and everything. It also frightened me some in a couple of scenes. Nice job.
MensReaMemory 2008-05-19 ch 1,	abuseThis is very well-written and well structured short story. The set-up of this character writing down these events is a good motif for a horror story and the fishing trip gives the beginning an innocent setting, regardless of the fact that we've already learned about this Visitor that s/he sees. Like some other readers have already said, it brings to mind a few well-known Poe stories, but I happen to think that this is better than Poe's work because it doesn't bore me to death (pun not intended) with flowery prose. This story jumps right down your throat and demands attention. My only two annoyances are a lack of description that could have made the story come more alive and the way you composed some of your sentences. An example is: "Why it was that he felt the need to point out the obvious was beyond my grasp, at the time I found it to be rather insulting, as though he thought I wouldn't have been able to notice for myself." This very long sentence should have been cut in half, making two sentences, somewhere after 'beyond my grasp.' Going on with how s/he finds there cousin annoying deserves its own indivual sentence. Good work. I hope to read more from you in the future.
EternalDarkness90 2008-03-25 ch 1,	abusethat was...awesome! I want to know who or what the visitor is though...hmm
Slightly Obsessive 2007-08-26 ch 1,	abuseA very well written piece that i found really enjoyable to read. The mystery around the Visitor was sustained and i'm glad you never revealed who/what it was. It gives it an element of suspense and intrigue. Well done!
A. Harrison 2007-05-02 ch 1,	abuseHoly hell. There's nothing else to say. This has to be...one of the best pieces of writing I've read on this site - no joke. You transitions were astounding, things seemed to flow. The amount of detail was almost perfect and I was completely drawn in every second. That, my friend, takes talent. I loved your Ending. It's worded simply, yet not. Other than a typo here and there, it was almost perfect. Congrats.
memyselfillinois 2006-12-11 ch 1,	abuseWow, I'm really impressed. I was just browsing through the horror forum, thinking about posting a request for my own horror story up, and I found your thread about your story. I have to say I really enjoyed the story. I liked how you incorporated writing into the story. And what a good idea. Nice title as well. Great work. Keep it up.
MoonFire-01 2006-11-16 ch 1,	abuseI read your post on the Horror Forum and came to read the story. I really like it. It started to creep me out. I wonder what the thing was? An animal? scary...but still, I liked it. ^^
E.R. Samuelson 2006-11-09 ch 1,	abuseGood story. Good ending. Just keep an eye out for grammar and spelling mistakes. You should be able to clear those up with a quick proofreading. Also, try using some more description; tell us more about the cabin's interior, the cousin, etc. You can make this good story even better.
MC25 2006-03-21 ch 1,	abuseChilling, amazing, and scary! This is one of the best stories on fiction press that i have read so far! I could feel myself there, and i could feel the emotions of the characters as it happened. It reminded me of "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe. You should submit to other websites if you can find any! Keep on writing!
Lost Again354 2006-01-10 ch 1,	abuseO.O wowzers..thats good. nice detail, i can actually hear the house creeking and the trees snapping and everything else. keep it up ^_\^
DarkSideCookie 2005-10-14 ch 1, anon.	abuseI liked it. It had a real Edgar Allen Poe feel to it. It also kid of reminded me of this old scray story I read once. The ending was awesome. The price of a good tale line. I have only praise no criticues. BYE!
forsaken-atlantis 2005-09-26 ch 1,	abuseO_O Holy crap. That was..amazing. Something you'd see in a collection of short horror story novels. It strangely reminds me of "The Tell Tale Heart"..the way it's written and all. but that's a GOOD THING! This story was awesomely good. I lurve it. -MU-
Charl33t 2005-09-25 ch 1,	abuseVery well written. It keeps the reader in suspense the entire time without overwhelming them. Yeah, it does remind me of "The Yellow Wallpaper" a little, but I find your story much more interesting than that. "The Yellow Wallpaper" gets really dull while you wait for action to occur. Nicely written, dude.
Liina 2005-09-24 ch 1,	abuseI love this. Your writing reminds me of the short story "Yellow Wallpaper." It has a very professional/confessional feeling.

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