FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| fejioewjfawoejifvjkljioefew... 2005-09-26 ch 1,  | abuseThis story was okay. I like how describe things and your use of language, but I think you should find something less typical to write about. I liked how the mother was going through the box and remembering the past. It was suspenseful when you brought up the flashback. But making it into another hit-and-run deal was kind of a letdown. Other than that I thought it was fine. |