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| caitybug007 2006-10-03 ch 8,  | wow! this is the best story you've written in my opinion, Lis! dang, that's wierd! at first she has no one but her mom, then she doesn't even have her, then she suddenly has a twin bro., a cousin who's her best friend, and a father who's way into magic. lol, wacydadkfnndkjdsf!i can't get over it! |
| caitybug007 2006-10-02 ch 3, | lol, ok, ik you're tired of this, but i have a few more things you might want to concider. the line "why? Where are you going that I could possibly need to go?" might be a little over the top for talking to someone who seems to be a school administraitor or teacher. lol, you might want to concider just putting in "why?". |
| Holly 2006-07-17 ch 8, | Woah..So hes her brother, shes her cousin so all we need is to find out about her father, and who will be her lover!? |
| vanessa 2006-06-25 ch 4, | I'm serious- that's my name! Coming from someone who's been in the publishing buisness for 17 years- I have some advice. This story didn't seem to be going anywhere until a few chapters in, because of how short the chapters are. When looking at manuscripts, publishers want to be caught within the first few paragraphs, so they will desire to finish the next chapters. They look for something that appeals to the age group the story is written for, and frankly- the short chapters fit for younger age groups, but your story is aimed for the teen group. You ought to consider combining your chapters- especially the ones who's stories are closely related. Your first few chapters, combined, would make an outstanding introduction to what may turn out to be a best seller someday! If you ever would like more writing advice, feel free to write me at vgpublisher@hotmail.com |
| OTHERfantasyfreak 2006-02-12 ch 8,  | wow, this is great. i'm in search for a better use of words at the momement: EXCELLENT. |
| Ysabrylla Noakes 2005-12-05 ch 8, | Wow, great update! I can't believe Sarah is her cousin! I only have one little thing... I still can't tell if they're in the mortal world or the magic world and it's kind of confusing me =/ Maybe you could tell me over AIM? *feels kind of stupid* Anyways, awesome update, muy bien! I hope you find the rest of this so you don't have to rewrite it- although sometimes when you rewrite it you make it better than it already was [or, at least, that's what I've found!] Keep it up! |
| Emily (Wotcher ^^) 2005-12-05 ch 8, | Awesome job!! (= I'm going to bookmark this one =D ttyl, cheers, Emily |
| Ysabrylla Noakes 2005-11-27 ch 7, | Woah! She's got a twin brother! *spazzes* And the whole thing about the forgotten throne... wow. I'll admit, I'm a tad confused about one thing- is their school in the mortal world or the other world? Can't wait until the next chapter! ^_^ |
| Ysabrylla Noakes 2005-11-23 ch 6, | Yay! An update! I'm curious to see what Mr. Howard wants to tell her. Also the thing with the mirror is rather interesting. Hopefully some things will get revealed soon... ya know? Looking forward to the next chapter! =D |
| StoryJunkie 2005-10-13 ch 5, | chapters are kind of short, but so far, this is a good story. |
| Ysabrylla Noakes 2005-10-12 ch 5, | Hmm... and so the plot thickens!I'm sure if I had more sleep I'd be able to write something more constructive and such, but unfortunately I've gotten barely any sleep this week [my "put everything off until 11 PM" friends have worn off on me!]. Anyways, good update, a few grammar things but that's all. Can't wait for the next chapter! |
| FireFanatic 2005-10-09 ch 4, | Nice characterization here. You really got the school-girl friends out nicely. I'm impressed. Now all you have to do is... UPDATE! *Lisa |
| FireFanatic 2005-10-09 ch 3, | Bad Vanessa- you're not supposed to get in the car with strangers... even if it is a full admission scholarship and not just candy... yeah... As for these dudes... why do they creep me out when Remlin doesn't? Or is one of them actually just him in disguise? Must read more. Answers! *jumps into the next chapter and swims* *Lisa |
| FireFanatic 2005-10-09 ch 2, | Um... is it bad that I've fallen in love with your sandman? He is awesome bagossom! Going to the next! *Lisa |
| FireFanatic 2005-10-09 ch 1, | Yummy prologue. Really catches the reader's/me eye. This is very interesting. Must read more. *Lisa |