Whew - I finally got around to reading this. Sorry it took me.

The chapter was solid, although Belanna's anger is very, very childish. I thought she simply got annoyed with Evan because he was a pervert? The only other thing I found was when you said it was utter black in the cave - which is correct - but in the next sentence, you say Belanna glanced at her watch. She wouldn't be able to see it unless it had the backglow thingie... I suppose that's implied.

Anyway, good writing, and I hope you'll keep it up!

it may not be finished yet...but you managed to let us know that you are still alive and breathing! Update soon...oh, if you are just going to replace this chapter, could you email me at lunisamoon@yahoo.com?

update soon!

I finally got around to finishing Chapter 2 - I know you told me about its completion a few days ago. It looks good and is shaping up nicely. Keep going at it. (I had to 'review' your prologue because it wouldn't let me 'review' chapter 2 - I had already complemented you before... Weird internet server.)

It's shaping up nicely, Jen. Keep it coming!

It's good, great detail, but Belanna's reaction seems to be a little hasty. I think there needs to be a little progression in her anger not just on and off. Other than that, I love it!

Hey... It's good - no surprise there! The only thing I would change is (however strangely) the summary - it kind of gives away the title. That's not a criticism - I just like to keep my summaries from giving away anything in the story - so people feel obligated to read it. I don't know about that Evans character - he sounds like a pervert (to an extent) to me... LOL

I really love this story. I can't wait to read more. I hope that you write quickly!!

I can't wait to read more! It's a bit short for me to really make a critique, but I'll get to it eventually when you've written more, but so far so good!!

o. Definitly write more. looks like it's shaping up nicely.