hm so I LOVE this song and the vision you gave me by this hm...story yes im going to call it a story cause I can was amazingly beautiful D

man, that was sad. I loved it though...although it kinda put me in mind of the Greenday one (September ends). That gets over playd though. Anyway...good story :)

*)

WOW. That was really good. And I love that song...even though MCR has better ones. Anyways...that was very good...and original...great job. Ok...bye. Much Love!Sosei

You'll need a disclaimer for this. Other than that, you have several punctuation errors. It could be more organized, and the plot doesn't seem to exist. What does she mean by "But I've forgotten why we are together...?" A bit awkward, in my opinion. Just some constructive criticism.