I was wondering when you're going to update.

Some grammatical errors, but the spelling's accurate. I have a weakness for alliteration, which you've used appealingly - deliberately, I'm sure.

Anyway, this intrigues me. I'd like to read the rest of it, if you post it.

Er... bye! *sneaks away*

this is really dark.. really descriptive... its good... if this is a prologue then its fine but if its a chapter it should be a lot longer..

I thought your other story was macabre! This is dark... this is tar on a moonless starless night in the middle of nowhere dark... gripping and haunting. You ever thought of doing one a bit longer? I think you'd be good at it!