I'm not sure I hear the whine, But the poem gets weaker towards the end. Other wise, I think it's great.

Thanks so much for the review!

Peace, Jessi

Cool. I like this. Thanks for the review!

Hi.. Nice poemand thanks for revieuwing mine..I'm gonna check the rest of them.. ^^ you have lots.. ^^ Sayonra..

Its a little sad, but the flow is very good. And it's very deep and that's also very good. Keep up the great work.

LLCOh and thanks for your review

Excellent. I like the last part, "thoughts lingering on and on." Very nice. Check out my new poem if u'd like :)