Hooray for a picnic, eh? Yes, yes, this is Ranuu, back again for the pointing out of mistakes and the praise for good writing, the latter of which shall be heaped on this chapter MUCH more than the other xD

So... let's see... *looks at the few notes he took*

Omg I love the description of her hair, it made me smile big time ^_^But how can you make it to where anybody has eyes cooler than mine, eh? xD Nobody should beat the color-changing eyes of Ranuu! But you did and they're awesome xP

The whole 'fey' thing I didn't quite get, but then again, I've never been much into faerys, so yeah xP

The only technical mistake I'll point out is something I don't want to, because I'm not sure it is? You said 'fey' most of the time, but a couple turned out to be 'fay', and one was 'few'. TECHNICAL PART OVER.

I love reading this though, and you are still my favorite writer on fictionpress xP The spirit and life that flows in the story makes it so good, I think... you're a natural, because I /know/ you were talking about how you didn't even know what was going on, but you wrote it anyway. That's awesome.

So... 4/5 stars, as the ending was just a bit awkward, though yes, it was slightly amusing. =P

Your favorite reviewer until someone else comes on,~Ranuu xD

So is Avari the one who got the wings ripped off or was that Vatusia? >_> I got a bit lost. Awesomeness chapter Kin ^-^ BTW, It is your post for Angelic Blossoms! >.>

Whoa... o_o Awesome fighting... Sweetness! >3

So her eye changes when the weather changes? That's pretty cool ^-^

omg... NU! NOT THE WINGS! D:

Very nicely done, Chris! I've read this over a couple of times and, really, there isn't much to complain about that hasn't already been brought up in the other reviews. I've really enjoyed reading this so far and look forward to more!

My only advice: don't fall inactive writing it, for you'll never pick it up again! (Believe me, I know from experience >_>)

Quite the improvement from the first draft. Lots of emphasis on certain words; emotions are a mixture, and your way of painting the surroundings were very impressive. :}

Here are some things that I noticed, that I just want to point out.

"And...And guardians had taken up arms as well?" I think the second "And" after the ...'s isn't supposed to be capitilized. Or that's what my Word tells me. -shrugs-

"What in the lake of fire was going on!?" You might want to capitilize "Lake of Fire," given it is a curse word, and usually people capitilize words like 'Heaven' or 'Hell'. Since the Lake of Fire was an important part of Hell, you can consider doing that - not necessary, however.

You used the word "degrading" three times in this prologue. 'Degrading' is a very noticeable word; perhaps replace the other two with words closely similiar.

"'Ahg--!' She fell to her knee’s then..." No apostrophe on 'knees'.

You used dawdle two times; another noticeable word, and they are also in paragraphs very close to each other.

Lastly, I noticed you capitilized 'Warrior' in some parts, and in others just 'warrior'. Depending on the situation, this can be altered, but you should pretty much just stick to one or the other.

Yeah, I was just mentioning those things because I noticed them, and I just wanna help ya improve. They were very few errors, compared to how long the prologue was.

Can't wait to see how Chapter 1 comes along! ^^

Nice story! I can't wait to read s'more! Anyways, I'm assuming this has a touch of either D.N.Angel or Vampire Game to it? Even if you've never read them, this story reminds me of them...

(I wish I could write like you!)