Great poem.

This poem leaves a deep impression on me; it seems to tell me how easy to waste one's life, to underappreciate the delicacy and uproar of life. I know too little, however, of the mechanics on writing to say what or how or which done that or this way marks me so.

To make up for this, I'll smile gently instead and put you on my favorites. :)

Very well written! The word choices, and the way you use different scenaries to describe life is great. You got your meaning across to the readers.

so much meaning in so few words... amazing just like you

this was very well done. I thought it expressed the emotions well. Pretty soon I stopped paying attention to the words and focused more on the feelings being portrayed.

Mack

I believe this is the first freeform poem of yours that I've seen. Rather than accentuating words and ideas with rhythm or rhyme, here the very layout of the page is loaded with significance.

You have coaxed a simple concept to flower into a work of profundity. Magnificent.

I like the rythm of this poem, and I feel that the words you used really help to show how the duties of life seem hectic and beat at people. Nice job

You really captured the race we all feel in this busy life. I liked the imagery in the lines: "This persistent beating / On the fabric of our minds." In those few words I could practically feel the stress of a busy day. Good job!

i'd like to say something really happy and exciting about this poem, but it put me in such a mood that i really can't say it without ruining it.but in truth, this poem is beautiful: like i said it put me into a melancholy.. awesome.great imagery.