Aww. Kudos to him for continuing to be sweet, even in the face of her...well, running off crying, heh.

However, there -were- some errors throughout this--check your dialogue, in particular, and comma usage. Other than that, it's mostly tiny things, but there's enough of them to be noticable. Fixing them would make this all the better!

Cheers!

- Eyetk K.

Hmm this was interesting, a cute sort of narrative. I enjoyed it a lot. There were a few errors and I thought some of the ideas came across as choppy instead of smooth but other than that it was well done. I liked the descriptions specifically. Are you planning to continue your other story at all? Just a wondering.

Mack

wow this sounds so amazing update soon!

wow. that was so touching. like all the stories of yours i've read so far, it was sad but not without purpose. i could feel the excitement and love weaved in your story. i wish you'd write more about it. now i'm curious and it's going to torture me until you write more. please!

~love always~~your sis~~chris~

*clap clap* i like it. well i like all ur stories what can i say, ur a good author. hope to read more...wow :D