I love your paranthetical thoughts in this. Especially the way you used them, at the end of each stanza with a slight rhyme. It held your flow throughout the poem.

"I know you lied." The continuation from the thought in the paranthesis to the ending tied in together really well. It had a finalizing ring to it as the end.

The beginning was a pretty picture. I think that stanza was my favorite:

stop making wishes
like the little girl
who blows petals from the flower
and they go upup&AWAY
and never come back down

The comparison goes perfectly with the rest of the poem.

-Katie, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

I like your stanzas. The emphasize your point and look clean and organized. ;)

I think what I like best is the progression of your thoughts. In the first stanza you write about what you've written, I guess, your thoughts being turned into dust. And then you switch to

shelovesme
She loves me not
flowers are nothing more than a fortune teller

It's just really clever. And interesting to read, as well.

And for the ending, you used a slight repetition from the very first stanza. I thought it was well placed and tied the poem together nicely. :)

-Katie, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

You had a nice beginning. The mention of smoke filling up his room when he's depressed gave a strong mental picture and told a lot about his character. It set a good rhythm and tone.

The ending question was a nice touch. You talk about his entire personality and then end with the title. The question had a lingering effect that I really quite liked. ^_^

-Katie, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

Woo, this is written so well. I adore the beginning lines

the mint colored dew rests soundly on the grass
that lays inside the picket fence where
THAT HOUSE is.

That was a great way to start the poem. It had that sad, mysterious feel to it that compliments the poem.

And my God, your word choice was amazing. I loved "mint colored dew" and a lot of other lines. The imagery was great and I had a clear picture in my mind. Great job!

You revealed the plot line nicely and showed the litle girl's emotions without really having to delve into her thoughts. I thought that was really clever. The scene you chose was interesting, too. It was a nice background for what you were trying to write about.

-Katie

Your tone here is interesting. It's a mix between romance, sarcasm, desperation, and a kind of longing. All the emotions are wonderfully portrayed and written well.

Some of the sentences are run together a little strangely. That's my only dislike. Even then, though, it doesn't bother me particularly. It almost fits with the theme, being written like that.

Overall, the people are described nicely and the flow was uninterrupted. The rhythm was steady and I really enjoyed reading!

Thanks for posting!
-Katie, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

i really like this. do you mind if i use it for my eng anthology? GIVE ME YOUR NAME SO I CAN GIVE YOU CREDIT PLEASE.

wonderful

AWESOME. brilliant. you should add the author's note to the poem in parantheses.

beautiful. i love the pronunciation in parantheses!

i almost forgot how talented you were... im glad you put all these up on the website... now ill have something worthwhile to read n give me inspiration, they're all so wonderful- but what could bring you so much pain?... neva understood how much i luved u til now.

i feel like that stranger , at night when i can only find consolation in the radio's sad waves. i feel like that stranger just without the eyes, just without the eyes.

oh so true always hoping for the best out of him cause you know when you expect the worst from ppl, they usually come through. so maybe if you hope for the best maybe just this once you'll get your wish... i felt it megan, i truly did...

'kamikaze' kinda reminded me of the poem 'rain on thursdays'.. maybe it's the clouds c: neway, love this *off to read more*

aww. beautiful! you put things in so well! my poem suck compared to you.

love it rei! reminds me of... me o_o except I have BLUE eyes! :D