Share/Save/Bookmark
Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: A Forced Brother: Amos and Marni

Dinuriel
2006-05-08
ch 1,
abuseNice work. I like the way you've written this, but there's one thing I'm confused about (this may sound quite dumb, but my brain always starts summer vacation a little early, if you know what I mean). If the woman he's dating lives in Seattle, then exactly how many times have they actually gone out? Were they on a chatroom or something?

Oh well. Update as soon as you can.
sarah
2005-10-10
ch 1, anon.
abuseooh new story. i like it! yay fun stuff
Katie
2005-10-08
ch 1, anon.
abusehumm... this sounds interesting
I've left FP
2005-10-05
ch 1,
abuseHeh, I'm gonna force ya to continue this one! I stumbled upon it in bordom and I'm glad I did! First off, awesome in speeling (lol, ur better than hell then I am at spelling!) But I have one major complaint: It was VERY hard to read due to the fact the punctuation was incorrect. As is, there are no quotes or commas before the quotes; then again, it could be a ficpress error, so I guess just checking it would work. Well, also, Andy is JUST like the Andy at my school! Bravo, fellow auther; it's always wonderful for the reader to connect their life with the auther's writings. hope ya continue, ~`~`~ClAiRe CaLLeSeN~`~`~ P.S. Have you ever tried to use a simile or figurative language in your writing? I bet it would do alot. Also, the dad is JUST like my freakin' dad who's leaving my family now; to much damned phycology! Gr, I don't know if I want a new dad...good job on the realisim-a comment from an expirienced girl.
lostXpunkXchic
2005-10-05
ch 1,
abusei like the story so far! hope you update soon but no pressure!
Return to Top