how wonderous. ramblings... it's like... hm. you know when you skateboard or something, and one set of wheels is off the curb and one is on the pavement... or you know, when guineapigs go round on those wheels. that's how i empathize with this poem - like i can read anything into it. and that makes it insanely wonderous.

Damn, that was intense. I'll admit that reading it through the first time, I was like, yeah, it's good, but blah blah blah, but then I read it out loud and holy **, wow. This is definitely one of those poems that works better spoken than on paper. For sure. Everything in this is so raw and powerful and you're just slapping the readers in the face with all this language and these images. It's great. I think I have to favorite it. And I don't think I have read anything of yours before. I don't know why. This is great. You're going on my faves, too. Keep writing! :)

wow that was awesome in the origanl sence of the word a true artist not only comits his or her feelings to paper but makes from the pain beauty which i think you just suceeded to do but my only cc is that though stark is the whole basis of the poem the first and seventh stanza i feel needs an emotive line somthing that is out of the norm to create a more beautful image must go so i cant spell check but anyway its greatδραπέτης

devon i am posting this on my lj cos i love it and identify with it and where i am right now ok? ok. i will give you credit. you are amazing;

This is so emotional...I like the way you used diferent text n' stuff to get your message across~sanch

You did a wonderful job of capturing emotion: there is so much rage in this, you can't not be moved by it. Keep writing.

Oh, my God. It has been SO LONG since I've read something of this caliber on FP. Favorite stories list, most definitely.

The change from calm, pretty language to the rough "screaming" lines just make it so much fun to read. Like this: "I love every curve/that you present me withevery/obstaclethatIhavetojumpever/SLAPINTHEFACETHATYOUGIVEMEbut/this feels so unnatural..." Absolutely love it. Feels very human, very real; I can see someone reading this, going from speaking to screaming and back again.

Wonderful, wonderful.

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