Aw. It's very deep, and very emotional.

It's good how you start with I remember- as in, telling the people that it was a while ago, and giving a sort of mystery about it-

Did the girl (I may be mistaken- it's hard to tell (or I'm just dense) but I *think* it's a girl.) make up with the other girl? Did *you*, or the person who you're writing about, get together with said crying girl?

Hmm. I'll start on my CC- there's a little, though it may seem like a lot. :)

First off- "nothing" Capital N and a full stop. Again at "nothing, stuff." you need a capital.

The line "I seen tears falling down your soft brown eyes." doesn't make sense... Maybe "I glimpsed bitter tears falling from your soft brown eyes." may work a bit better? Or something of that sort? And whenever you use seen, I don't know, it just doesn't sound right... ^__^; Maybe 'saw'? ( I am *so* not good at CC'ing...)

You still need to capitalise some of the lines... were you trying to give the feel that you were muttering, or whispering? That may explain why you've capitalised some and not the others.

Also- Spell Check can come in really handy. slintley- Silently?looke- looked?stomich- stomach?

I hope you don't take this as a flame- I wasn't trying to be harsh, but if you worked out some of the problems I pointed out, your writing will get better.

Best of Luck in all of your writing,

Channa (P.S. Thank you for your review! And yes- red heads are hot (::tugs at red hair::) I'm excluded from that group of red heads though. ::grins::)

Deep, and well-detailed, I loved it, keep up the good work.

Much love,Juliet.