   Vv Rose's Thorn vV 2007-07-07 . chapter 1Oh, that's so sad. This is really good. I like how you described the little girl, how she looks and stuff. Outside of tiny grammatical errors, there wasn't anything really wrong with this. I wouldn't suggest turning it into a story though. A one-shot like this can stand alone. Deepening it may destroy its meaning. I don't really know how to explain why I don't think you should, but I just don't.
-Katie |
| Vivian Rose Pierce 2006-03-07 . chapter 1 How sad. Sometimes it seems a little to descriptive (ie: I know the door leads into the room), but overall, this is very good and I hope to see you continue. |
| Wing Chant 2005-10-23 . chapter 1 I liked this opening, it certainly draws the reader's attention. =D! You should consider expanding this into a longer story.
loserz. ;) |
| sweetxinsincerity 2005-10-13 . chapter 1 It's a really good opening, or at least I like it a lot. You should write more! |
| Moon Drops 2005-10-10 . chapter 1 Wow, very nice. It's a nice opening, but it sounds like there is/needs to be more to it. Please continue, and quit leaving us hanging! :) |
 Sophie Ulquiorra Allen 2005-10-09 . chapter 1Apart from a few grammatical errors that was nice. I would like to hear more. |
| Marce 2005-10-08 . chapter 1 I don't really get what is going on but the story really plants a vivid dream in one's head. It has a weary feel to it, though. |
| maxnotevoltage 2005-10-08 . chapter 1 You depicted this scene so perfectly! It made me cry... Awesome, concrete images - such a frail, delicate child.. What that must have felt like for her.. This was seriously very touching. If you do choose to continue it, I will be waiting! -- J.max |
| Confessions of a Tortured Soul 2005-10-08 . chapter 1 I really liked this opening, you described everything fairly well and I got a sense of feeling while reading it. Great story, please continue =) |
| Kenneth's Angel 2005-10-08 . chapter 1 wow...that beginning is great, i think you really have a good story there. you should try to continue with it. of course you had a few grammar erros like do in my stories but that's an easy fix. keep up the good work!! ^_^ |
| Essence of Reality 2005-10-08 . chapter 1 omgosh! This is my favorite work of yours so far! I really, really like it! It's sad, and you create the setting brilliantly!
You have to update! It's a MUST. This is so good!
Have to have to have to! Or else I will take away all of your cookies. Even the peanut butter ones.
Lol. Much vanilla. xp |
FictionPress.com - let the words flow